Posts Tagged ‘Lil Rounds’

Pulling Out the Rules Book

April 22, 2009
Somali Pirates

Somali Pirates

We’ve had to do this once before. While most of you think this Idol pool could be run just as well by a group of Somali Pirates, sadly you are mistook. There is a set of rules that governs how this pool is run. AND!!! We abide by those laws at all times. So, the results show tonight was one of those rare times where I had to consult the rules book to determine the way to score the pool. The rules clearly state:

Section 2, Rule 4A, Line 3: In the rare event that two contestants are voted of the show on the same night, those contestants shall be awarded the same finishing position, which is to be an average of the two positions being voted off.

HOWEVER!!!! Due to the Idol producers screwing with my pool this year, we had to add some crazy amendments to the Idol Pool bylaws.

Amendment 17, Paragraph 2, Line 7: With regards to Section 2, Rule 4A, Line 3, an exception may be made when the order the contestants are voted off the show is abundantly clear. In this case, the first contestant voted off shall be awarded the lowest finishing position available.

Tonight, I’m invoking Amendment 17, Paragraph 2, Line 7. Lil was clearly booted off the show first. She sucked. She’s sucked for a couple weeks. America just finally got it right. Good day Lil. Good day Anoop. Good day for Gelles, who nailed the predictions right on the head.

Get your results here!

Guest Blog: The Leap

April 21, 2009

gellesnunAndrew Gelles here, doing the guest-blogging thing, trying to help a friend out and get the Idol recap to you.

After saving Matt Giraud last week, Simon threw the hammer down that two people would be eliminated this week, disco week! It was apparent right away that the Fox producers realized that there was some anger that the show was running long every week, so we dispensed with “guest-mentor” and intros and got right to the singing. Thank goodness! (P.S. The show still ran 90 seconds over)

So without further ado, tonight’s re-cap….

-Lil Rounds kicked things off singing Chaka Khan’s “I’m Every Woman”, and let’s just say, it was not good. Why did we all think Lil was going to take this thing by storm a couple months back? Lil clearly peaked in the Top 36 round and is only around because she is just barely better than the competition that has been eliminated in the past few weeks. One other thing, why is Lil the only one who feels the need to defend herself after she gets trashed by the judges? Take it like a pro and hope for the best. No one won Idol by begging for it.

-Kris Allen went second and sang his version of “She Works Hard for the Money”. There is a point during the Top 12 round when everyone who ends up becoming a success makes what I call “The Leap”. By this point, everyone is at least good. At some point, you have to be great. Tonight Kris Allen was great. I don’t know if someone else has done this version before or not, but I loved it and thought it stood alone as the best performance of the night (Take that Lambert-ites!) Kris made great use of a Disco theme that didn’t fit his strengths and hit a home run.
Paula, of course, needed to make a metaphor, that just led to an awkward exchange about cross-dressing. (Editor’s Note: Did you see the prior post with the latest Adam Lambert Drag Picture?) To me, the best part of Idol is watching Simon’s face when Paula is talking, because he doesn’t understand what she is saying either.

-Danny Gokey sang next with EW&F’s “September”. It was average at best. I’ve heard better versions at weddings. The judges all loved him and Simon brought everyone back down to reality when he said it was good, but lacked star-power.
Speaking of Simon, I can’t stand the fact that he gets booed every week. He is the only one who tells it like it is and he gets zero respect on the show. Can you think of another game-show (yes, Idol is a gameshow, get over it) where the host gets booed every week? Imagine if the crowd booed Alex Trebek every time someone got an answer wrong on Jeopardy. Blows my mind.
Back to Tuesday….

-Alison….sang something I don’t remember. I liked it though and am bothered that she is so young yet is wearing tight leather. She looked good though. Reminds me a bit of Pink. The judges “didn’t like the song, but liked it.” (Re-watch, that’s essentially what they said.) Simon was right on the money….brilliant performance.

-Adam Lambert, back in the suit, trying to counteract any effect the cross-dressing pics might have on his image. Who cares dude? Elton John cross-dressed, so did Bowie and Jagger. Lambert has this thing locked up and is in an entirely different league than everyone else. It’s almost not fair. I don’t even remember what he sang, I just remember being mesmerized. P.S. His primal screams occasionally freak me out.

-Matt Giraud must have been obligated to sing “Stayin’ Alive” this week, right? The song was OK, not great. I am still amazed the judges used their save on someone even they are metze-metze on.

-Anoop, your beard really brought out your huge eyebrows (which I didn’t notice until this week). Oh, and Don Johnson called, he needs his suit back for a Miami Vice re-shoot. Shouldn’t a song called “Dance the Night Away” make me want to dance? I was not moved.

Lil and Anoop are gone this week. Nice to know ya. Hope you enjoyed the guest blog….comments are welcome, what did you think of the singers this week? Did you notice Motley Crue’s Vince Neil in the audience?

Ike Turner is Pissed

April 7, 2009

lilI’ve been saving this post for a while, and thought that last week was going to be the week to use it.  However, the judges screwed that one up.  Fortunately for me, a little patience paid off, and my plan is going exactly to…well…plan.  It was only a matter of time.  So, like Shakespeare or Homer or John Grisham, what was written long long ago, still, somehow, is relevant today.  And don’t think for a second that I won’t bust this post back out again this year if the situation calls for it.

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Originally Posted 4/2/2008

Every year it’s the same thing. Every year! One contestant decides “Hey, I’m hot shit, I’m going to sing that Whitney Tina Turner song that everyone knows only as ‘That Whitney Tina Turner Song'” And guess what? It never works. Ever. I was sitting on the couch with Elyssa watching the show tonight, and along comes Syesha Lil, singing to Dolly America, dreaming of being Whitney Tina Turner. I tell Elyssa that guaranteed, one, if not all, of the judges are going to tell her she shouldn’t have tried to sing a Whitney Tina Turner song. Let’s take a look at the responses…

Randy: “Alright yo, check it out yo. You took on the biggest tiger of the night…it’s still hard for me to hear anybody else sing that song.” “Anyway anyway anyway I mean listen listen…you can do a lot of stuff…but Tina is not you”

Paula: “That color looks great on you.” “You look very very hot tonight”

Simon: “This is one of the best pop songs ever written, and I almost wish you hadn’t got it in a strange way. The first part was ok, the second part paled in comparison to the Whitney version.” “We are not looking for a second or third rate version of Tina Turner, because that’s what it was”

Kara: “You’re struggling right now.”

I think I’ve made my point. Good day.