Posts Tagged ‘Guest Blogger’

Guest Blog: MAY THE BEST MAN WIN!

May 19, 2009

Well, it’s always said that every great mastermind always Always ALWAYS!!! has an ace up his sleeve.  A bomb that he can drop at any time that completely blows your mind. Dwight Eisenhower.  Issac Newton.  Da Vinci.  Peter the Great.  Gossip Girl.  They always saved something just in case.  Well, fortunately for you, I am no different.  All year long, I’ve been sitting on a gem.  A fucking gem!  I’m not usually one to wait on something this good.  It’s actually amazing to me that I was able to keep it in my pants this long.

So, without further adieu, I present you with my Ace Up the Sleeve.  My Fucking Gem.  Elaine Sandler.

MAY THE BEST MAN WIN ! (WHICH SHOULD BE ADAM)

Simon says….” Adam, you’re back in the game……” Say what!? He was never out! And the nerve of Simon commenting on Adam’s first song, “Mad World”, which was his best, which Simon said all along it was, and he critiques him about his long coat and the fog…PLEEEEEEEEASE! It doesn’t really matter tho, Simon et al. basically said “goodbye” to Kris at the end cause they all know Adam is the best; not only is Adam the best in this year’s competition, in my opinion (which you all know I always have one), he’s the best in all 9 yrs – other than maybe Carrie Underwood, but he sure has a way better personality than she does! One more thing about Simon…….it’s about time he covered up his boring T-Shirt……and dressed for the occasion!

Couple of thoughts…..Not only can’t Kris hold a candle to Adam, but what’s with his crooked mouth ??  He may be cute and all, but that mouth….ugh! and Adam’s so darn handsome – don’t care what side he’s on….Other reasons Adam should/must win….he nailed Kara’s song, “No Boundaries” (which was way too big for Kris), “Mad World”, and Sam Cook’s, “The Change is Gonna Come”….he could make a record from that, which I think was his best of the season! Randy agrees with me…..All in all, the judges summed it up well….”Randy – A+,  Kara – you’re Iconic, Paula – you’re the best, and Simon – you’re the most original contestant that we have ever had on this show.

Well………”That’s All Folks”……Oh, one more thing……..should we take bets on whether or not Simon will be back next year? (He says this is his last year)….Lee, set up a voting spot on your blog….would be interesting to see what our fellow players think……

AND REMEMBER…….VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE…..for Adam, of course!  :)) and if he doesn’t win, I may have to say farewell to AI forever….GOOD LUCK, ADAM!!  Love You………..

Your Faithful Lee Schneider fan, known as “Elaine”

…and, Lee, thanks for all your work on this blog, the laughs, creativity, and most of all, you!! Til  next year……………

There you have it.  The final Guest Blog of the year.  The Final Recap.  I like to think I saved my best for last.  In case you were wondering, here are the results scenarios.

If Kris Wins:

1st – Emily Reiff, 2nd – Elyssa Slater, Dead fucking last – Elyssa “Wife” Schneider

If Adam Wins:

1st/2nd – 2 way Tie (people to be named later), Dead fucking last – Elyssa “Wife” Schneider

If Adam wins, this would be the first tie in the history of the idol pool.  I’m really fucking nervous about this.  The tie would come down to the total number of votes for tomorrow night, as indicated in the Rules Book (Article VII, Section 2, Paragrah 3, Lines 12-14).  And I just looked at the votes submitted, and either person could nail it right on.  I suppose we could have the two people that tie decided in advance that they want to split the money, but that’s the pussy way out, and I won’t have any of that shit in my pool.  Go big or go home.  Splitting is for dutch dates and suckers.

Guest Blog: The Leap

April 21, 2009

gellesnunAndrew Gelles here, doing the guest-blogging thing, trying to help a friend out and get the Idol recap to you.

After saving Matt Giraud last week, Simon threw the hammer down that two people would be eliminated this week, disco week! It was apparent right away that the Fox producers realized that there was some anger that the show was running long every week, so we dispensed with “guest-mentor” and intros and got right to the singing. Thank goodness! (P.S. The show still ran 90 seconds over)

So without further ado, tonight’s re-cap….

-Lil Rounds kicked things off singing Chaka Khan’s “I’m Every Woman”, and let’s just say, it was not good. Why did we all think Lil was going to take this thing by storm a couple months back? Lil clearly peaked in the Top 36 round and is only around because she is just barely better than the competition that has been eliminated in the past few weeks. One other thing, why is Lil the only one who feels the need to defend herself after she gets trashed by the judges? Take it like a pro and hope for the best. No one won Idol by begging for it.

-Kris Allen went second and sang his version of “She Works Hard for the Money”. There is a point during the Top 12 round when everyone who ends up becoming a success makes what I call “The Leap”. By this point, everyone is at least good. At some point, you have to be great. Tonight Kris Allen was great. I don’t know if someone else has done this version before or not, but I loved it and thought it stood alone as the best performance of the night (Take that Lambert-ites!) Kris made great use of a Disco theme that didn’t fit his strengths and hit a home run.
Paula, of course, needed to make a metaphor, that just led to an awkward exchange about cross-dressing. (Editor’s Note: Did you see the prior post with the latest Adam Lambert Drag Picture?) To me, the best part of Idol is watching Simon’s face when Paula is talking, because he doesn’t understand what she is saying either.

-Danny Gokey sang next with EW&F’s “September”. It was average at best. I’ve heard better versions at weddings. The judges all loved him and Simon brought everyone back down to reality when he said it was good, but lacked star-power.
Speaking of Simon, I can’t stand the fact that he gets booed every week. He is the only one who tells it like it is and he gets zero respect on the show. Can you think of another game-show (yes, Idol is a gameshow, get over it) where the host gets booed every week? Imagine if the crowd booed Alex Trebek every time someone got an answer wrong on Jeopardy. Blows my mind.
Back to Tuesday….

-Alison….sang something I don’t remember. I liked it though and am bothered that she is so young yet is wearing tight leather. She looked good though. Reminds me a bit of Pink. The judges “didn’t like the song, but liked it.” (Re-watch, that’s essentially what they said.) Simon was right on the money….brilliant performance.

-Adam Lambert, back in the suit, trying to counteract any effect the cross-dressing pics might have on his image. Who cares dude? Elton John cross-dressed, so did Bowie and Jagger. Lambert has this thing locked up and is in an entirely different league than everyone else. It’s almost not fair. I don’t even remember what he sang, I just remember being mesmerized. P.S. His primal screams occasionally freak me out.

-Matt Giraud must have been obligated to sing “Stayin’ Alive” this week, right? The song was OK, not great. I am still amazed the judges used their save on someone even they are metze-metze on.

-Anoop, your beard really brought out your huge eyebrows (which I didn’t notice until this week). Oh, and Don Johnson called, he needs his suit back for a Miami Vice re-shoot. Shouldn’t a song called “Dance the Night Away” make me want to dance? I was not moved.

Lil and Anoop are gone this week. Nice to know ya. Hope you enjoyed the guest blog….comments are welcome, what did you think of the singers this week? Did you notice Motley Crue’s Vince Neil in the audience?

Unintentional Guest Blogger / Motown Night Recap

March 25, 2009

Unfortunately I haven’t made it all the way though Idol tonight.  The Wife and I were getting our culture on and taking in a play at the BU Theatre on Huntington Ave.  “Two Men of Florence” was a real delight.

You can imagine my excitement when I came home to an email from Idol Veteran Beth Schwartz (pictured on the right here and here) who had submitted her thoughts on tonight’s show.  So, without further adieu, I present the Motown Night Recap by our resident Gyno Dr. Bethy. (I haven’t even read what Beth wrote, so if you find her more offensive than me, too bad.)

I know that I have NO right to make blog-like comments, but nonetheless here are my thoughts on tonight’s show (I needed to do something to stay awake):

1) Are they giving all the guests Paula happy pills? First that creepy country guy and now Smokey Robinson have been freakishly, over-druggedly nice to ALL the contestants
2) I think Paula is wearing her prom dress from 1984
3) Did they really need to have 2 of the exact same people (except that Matt is cooler) in the top 13?
4) Can’t exactly blame Scott, but who dressed him tonight?? Austin Powers? I hate him
5) I heart Megan, despite her bizarro performance and Fisher Price necklace
6) Maybe it’s because my mom told me last week that he reminds her of Ramin … but Anoop made me hot for the 2nd week in a row (however, I lose my buzz every time they show his uber-conservative parents)
7) Didn’t Michael learn last week that singing “off the cuff” wasn’t the best choice for him?
8 ) It’s a major dilemma over whom I hate more: Michael or Scott. I think I hate Scott more (NEVER would have made it if he wasn’t visually impaired) but think he’s going to stick around for awhile longer because of the mother/grandmother vote
8 ) I’m bored … Kara’s hair is pretty. So is her shirt. I would kiss her.
9) Smokey, that “singing the phonebook” comment about Lil is totally and utterly unique. Wherever did you come up with it?
10) Thank goodness the only black singer in the competition paid tribute to the history of Motown Week
11) Lil has just as good a voice as Melinda Doolittle, but she blissfully doesn’t make the same faces or bobbing head movements
12) I was slightly distracted by all of Lil’s dangly things
13) Was Adam dressing to try to steal some of Scott’s crowd tonight?? Alternatively, was he auditioning for Grease?? Granted, it was a total 180 from his freaky, flaming performance from last week, but I think they can see through him. Incidentally, HD is NOT an optimal way to take a good look at his face.
14) How come no one mentioned that Danny just flat out ignored Smokey’s recommendation?
15) Is 16-year-old Hispanic Allison 16 the same way that Hispanic Little Leaguers and El Duque are their stated ages??

OK, that’s all. Bedtime for me. Feel free to pass off any of my awesome comments as your own. Btw, did you know that Colon “Jack” Bauer just got engaged? He was tempted to play by the Lee-and-Elyssa school of mawwage and wait another 9 years, but then he changed his mind.