Whose Shit Don’t Stank?

May 6, 2009

If The Video won’t play for some reason.  click here to watch.

Mine.  Please see the following from last night:

9:34  unofficial poll: jess miller – danny is gone.  wife – kris.  ste – kris.  amy – kris.  katie – kris but hopes it’s danny.  lee – allison.  I’m taking the underdog.  50-1 odds.  that could never win.

Just like I killed it in the Derby, I killed it again last night.  Only one at the most awesome Idol party ever to get it right.

Get your Results HERE!  E2* Finally Dethroned!

***Holy shit I just watched that video and at the 1:40 mark Paula makes an appearance.  Wow.  I write this post.  Then I remember the Outkast video.  Then Paula is all up in my grill mix.  Sometimes things just come together.


Live Blogging (tivo assisted) the Shit out of the show tonight!

May 5, 2009



9:35 and that concludes the first annual katie comes to boston american idol cinco de mayo swine flu live blog of american idol.  thanks for reading (did anyone read?)  group photo coming soon!

9:34  unofficial poll: jess miller – danny is gone.  wife – kris.  ste – kris.  amy – kris.  katie – kris but hopes it’s danny.  lee – allison.  I’m taking the underdog.  50-1 odds.  that could never win.

9:33  there’s about to be a riot here.  ste screwed up the tivo recording.  cue the “serves ste right” comments.

9:31 Judges Reactions.  randy = yo.  yo.  you guys are rockstars.  that was the bomb.  kara = rock god, rock goddess.  paula = arh arh arh.  perfect marriage.  something tells me a marriage between these two might not work.  simon = you win the show tonight.   tivo just cut out.  ste gold is about to be thrown off the balcony.

9:29  Allison & Adam. “Slow Ride.”  Nope.  Not going to work.  It’s Dazed & Confused or nothing for me on this one.  Katie things Adam’s tight pants are hot.  So does Ste.  I think it’s going to be a slow ride to the bottom 1 for Allison.  Adam just touched his junk.  Jess Miller thinks they should sing Meatloaf.

9:28 murmors that Kris is going to be gone.  Danny doesn’t think he was as bad as the judges thought.  sweet vest.

9:25 Judges reactions. Randy =  it was alright for me.  A+ for the effort.  Kara = i’m 38 and hot.  Paula = i don’t know if this was the right song for you.  simon = last not was like watching a horror movie.  good day.

9:20 Danny doing “Dream On.”  Ste thinks it’s one of the best songs ever.  That’s from the same guy that has a Britney Spears poster still hanging on his wall.  The girls are up in arms that he’s wearing his wedding ring.  Amy just got a tweet from Pete Bouchard.  She’s most excited.  Danny bringing it at the end.  paula almost just popped a boob out.

9:17 Ryan – “you’re far too rich to have ice for lunch.”  simon – “it’s made with mineral water”

9:15 judges reactions. randy = for me, i appreciate something.  he loved the guitar.  kara = for me, not a great performance.  paula = kind of risky to do beatles.  stopped listening to her a minute ago.  simon = didn’t like.  like eating ice for lunch.  ahhahaha.  the british are so funny.

9:13  we don’t think this is going well. Ste says Karaoke.  Jess says “no artistry.”  Ste can’t believe barry ditched this party.

9:12 Kris doing “Come Together”  looking forward to this.  Amy says the song makes her emotional.  whatever that means.

9:11 and we’re back.  had a little angel food cake and strawberries for dessert.  good stuff. Kris up next. during the break Jess Miller wanted to know what Twiiter was all about.

9:00 we’re taking a break.  dessert time.

8:58 judges reactions.  randy = loved the harmonies.  kara = sum of the parts better.  paula = powerful.  simon = danny better than kris.  majority here disagrees.

8:57 girls (and ste) think Kris is doing better than Danny.  I think they’re both doing well.  Don’t think Allison and Adam are going to be able to match this one.  Wonder what the ramifications of that are.  Ste thinks Kris won the battle.  Jess doesn’t think it’s a battle.

8:56 first duet in Idol history.  just so happy i’m here to see it.  Kris & Danny.  or is that ste?

8:55 has anyone texted the word vote?  just cracked a corona.

8:53 Katie reminding everyone that Allison said “it’s not like I sit at home and cut my wrists”.

8:51 judges reactions.  randy = no good for him for me for him, kara = are you nervous?, paula = you’re fearless (editors note – huh?), Simon = liked it.  maybe trying a bit too hard to sound like the original.  interesting.  3 no’s and an ok.

8:50 ste likes allison.  i don’t.  we’ll see what the judges say.

8:47  consensus is allison looks gross.

8:45 judges reactions.  ste loves kara.  kara has a sick poof.  paula claps like a seal.  paula bout to pop a titty out.  they all love adam.  simon tells it like it is.  one of his favorite performances.  no one can top that.

8:44 ste is unsure what the song is.  his face scares jess miller.  pretty good.  his haircut reminds me of todd from Wedding Crashers.

8:41 the girls are discussing why Allison looks so skinny?  is it the stress?  is it the anorexia?  adam sings first for change.  that’s nice.

8:40 Jess just said she’s dressed like fantasia barino.  what do you think?photo-29

8:38 the show must go on. so must the blog.  people think they can blog better and more grammatically correct than me.  fuck them.  jess miller just said she loves duets.

8:35 adam def in the bottom 3 last week.

8:34 swine flu in da house photo-28

8:31 Katie gives a speech. Discussing whether Adam was in fact the bottom 3 last week.  People up in arms about how the picks had to be made.

8:29 About to Dim the Lights.  There are swine flu masks available here.

8:20 still eating, but we’re now discussing the finer details of enemas.  Just great conversation.  someone just asked how does the water not come out your mouth?  indeed.  how?

8:15 still eating dinner.  ste just tried on his new glasses.  he looks like danny gokey.  picture coming.  jess miller in da house now.

8:05 Nobody we know watches any TV live.  Times listed will not correspond to Idol performances.  We watch when we want to watch and there ain’t nothing you can do about it. –SG

7:59 SteGold here taking over the live blog.  We have some homemade margaritas made by Amy for Cinco de Mayo.  We have dozens of surgical masks to keep the swine flu to ourselves.  We have sweaty recently-yoga’d guests.  And we have no fewer than four RSVPd individuals who either forgot, got “sick,” or are out drinking with other friends.  Hell of a party. –SG

7:57 On the phone with Gelles.  he thinks swine flu.  not coming.  party down to 6. –LS

7:52 Wife just said she almost choked on a lettuce sushi roll in high school.  awesome. –LS

7:47 Just got to SteGold’s house.  We got Ste, Amy, Wife & an out of town appearance by Katie Hulbert. –LS

Obama = Good, America = Stupid

April 29, 2009

obama8Tonight, as I was driving in the car, a news man on NPR (90.9 in Boston) said that today, ahead of Obama’s 100 Day speech, was like Christmas for the White House.  Chrysler was about to be bailed out by Fiat.  The Stock Market was up 2%.  And Obama’s budget passed.  Hell, even Arlen Spector (who I happen to think is a total ass clown) decided that now was a good time to be a Democrat.  He’s like a stock analyst that changes his rating from Sell to Buy only after the stock has gone up 1 billion percent.  (Please hold.  I forgot where I was going with this rant.  Be back in 5.)  Oh Oh Oh.  Right.  OK, so tonight everything seems to be going well for Obama.  His Q & A with the press was smashing.  Good, thoughtful answers.  You look at Obama and you think “wow, America seems to be on the right track.”  Yup, then you go and watch Idol.  It’s like an emotional rollercoaster.  You feel great after Obama, then you watch Idol and it drags you all the way down.  Hell, it’s like your car just about came off the track.  What the hell is wrong with America?  Really?  How can people think he should be in the bottom 3, let alone the bottom 2?  It’s just insane.  (Side note: I love when Paula says something is Crazy.  Yeah, that helps.)  Anyway, Adam in the Bototm 3 totally destroys and good-will that Obama spent the evening buidling up.  Ugh.  Makes me crazy.

moonOh, and now Jamie Foxx is a rapper?  Really?  I thought he was a comedian/actor?  I didn’t realize 2009 was “pick a career out of your ass year.”  In that case, I’m going to be an astronaut.  Yup, I now work for NASA.  Sorry GWK, but I figured it would be an easy jump from Investment Managment to Astrophysics.  It worked for Jamie, it’ll work for me.  See that moon up there?  Yeah, I discovered that shit.

Adios Matt (finally).  Here are your damn results.  Now I’m all worked up.

Best Comment Evahhhh?

April 29, 2009

Every now and again a reader of this blog inspires me to post their comment as an actual post.  Well, today is Amber’s lucky day.

With regards to the “Not So New Adam Lambert Risque Pictures” post from a couple weeks ago (which by the way is well over 600 hits in the last 2 days), Amber from NY writes:


Thank you Amber, you’re the latest winner of the “My Comment Is So Awesome I Get a Blog Post Made Out Of It” contest.

The Man In White

April 28, 2009

woody-wesley-and-perezSince it’s nearly midnight, and I’m just finishing up watching Idol (take that MJ @ mjsbigblog.com!), I decided to do a word association blog.  I’m going to list all the contestants, and throw down my 1 word or phrase thought for each as I watch the end of show recap.  This ought to be entertaining.

Kris – Seacrest

Allison – White Men Can’t Jump

Matt – Gone-er

Danny – SteGold

Adam – Wow


So, now that we’ve done that, let me go back and explain.

Kris – Seacrest – I thought he was dressed as though he borrowed a suit from Ryan

Allison – White Men Can’t Jump – Her voice reminds me of the chick from White Men Can’t Jump

Matt – Gone-er – I keep forgetting he’s still  in this.  Not a good thing.  He’s clearly leaving this week.

Danny – SteGold – This will be revelaed at a later time

Adam – Wow – The dude dressed in white is clearly taking this whole thing down.  Last week I thought it would be Kris that would challenge him.  This week, I tought it might be Danny.  But I just don’t think either of them has enough gas in the tank to pass Adam.

p.s.  I know this blog post kind of sucks, but it’s late, I’ve been working all day, and I don’t give a shit if you don’t piss your pants from laughter.

This Is My Competition??

April 28, 2009

You’ve got to be kidding me!  Featured in the B section of the Boston Globe today is an article about some broad that runs an Idol website out of Brookline (Side note: no wonder the paper is going bust).  Blah blah blah, she quit her job to run the site, blah blah blah, she get’s 60,000 hits, blah blah blah.

Go ahead, check the site: http://mjsbigblog.com/.  I’ll just wait for you to come back to this site.  OK, you’re back.  Glad to have you back.  Where’s the humor?  Where are the guest blogs?  Where’s the picture giving the site an identity?  Where’s the well designed and thought out website?  All I see are serious Idol headlines, spoilers, a shit load of advertising, and not one ounce of love.

So yeah, I think her site sucks and mine is awesome.


P.S. Every good blogger knows that you never, ever, ever ever ever blog using a PC.  That’s just asking for disaster.

Is Adam Lambert the Chosen One?

April 24, 2009

There’s been a ridiculous call for me to put this on the blog (Elaine, Donna, Ste, etc), and since I’m a man of the People, here is Adam singing about/with/for the Chosen People.

Pulling Out the Rules Book

April 22, 2009
Somali Pirates

Somali Pirates

We’ve had to do this once before. While most of you think this Idol pool could be run just as well by a group of Somali Pirates, sadly you are mistook. There is a set of rules that governs how this pool is run. AND!!! We abide by those laws at all times. So, the results show tonight was one of those rare times where I had to consult the rules book to determine the way to score the pool. The rules clearly state:

Section 2, Rule 4A, Line 3: In the rare event that two contestants are voted of the show on the same night, those contestants shall be awarded the same finishing position, which is to be an average of the two positions being voted off.

HOWEVER!!!! Due to the Idol producers screwing with my pool this year, we had to add some crazy amendments to the Idol Pool bylaws.

Amendment 17, Paragraph 2, Line 7: With regards to Section 2, Rule 4A, Line 3, an exception may be made when the order the contestants are voted off the show is abundantly clear. In this case, the first contestant voted off shall be awarded the lowest finishing position available.

Tonight, I’m invoking Amendment 17, Paragraph 2, Line 7. Lil was clearly booted off the show first. She sucked. She’s sucked for a couple weeks. America just finally got it right. Good day Lil. Good day Anoop. Good day for Gelles, who nailed the predictions right on the head.

Get your results here!

Guest Blog: The Leap

April 21, 2009

gellesnunAndrew Gelles here, doing the guest-blogging thing, trying to help a friend out and get the Idol recap to you.

After saving Matt Giraud last week, Simon threw the hammer down that two people would be eliminated this week, disco week! It was apparent right away that the Fox producers realized that there was some anger that the show was running long every week, so we dispensed with “guest-mentor” and intros and got right to the singing. Thank goodness! (P.S. The show still ran 90 seconds over)

So without further ado, tonight’s re-cap….

-Lil Rounds kicked things off singing Chaka Khan’s “I’m Every Woman”, and let’s just say, it was not good. Why did we all think Lil was going to take this thing by storm a couple months back? Lil clearly peaked in the Top 36 round and is only around because she is just barely better than the competition that has been eliminated in the past few weeks. One other thing, why is Lil the only one who feels the need to defend herself after she gets trashed by the judges? Take it like a pro and hope for the best. No one won Idol by begging for it.

-Kris Allen went second and sang his version of “She Works Hard for the Money”. There is a point during the Top 12 round when everyone who ends up becoming a success makes what I call “The Leap”. By this point, everyone is at least good. At some point, you have to be great. Tonight Kris Allen was great. I don’t know if someone else has done this version before or not, but I loved it and thought it stood alone as the best performance of the night (Take that Lambert-ites!) Kris made great use of a Disco theme that didn’t fit his strengths and hit a home run.
Paula, of course, needed to make a metaphor, that just led to an awkward exchange about cross-dressing. (Editor’s Note: Did you see the prior post with the latest Adam Lambert Drag Picture?) To me, the best part of Idol is watching Simon’s face when Paula is talking, because he doesn’t understand what she is saying either.

-Danny Gokey sang next with EW&F’s “September”. It was average at best. I’ve heard better versions at weddings. The judges all loved him and Simon brought everyone back down to reality when he said it was good, but lacked star-power.
Speaking of Simon, I can’t stand the fact that he gets booed every week. He is the only one who tells it like it is and he gets zero respect on the show. Can you think of another game-show (yes, Idol is a gameshow, get over it) where the host gets booed every week? Imagine if the crowd booed Alex Trebek every time someone got an answer wrong on Jeopardy. Blows my mind.
Back to Tuesday….

-Alison….sang something I don’t remember. I liked it though and am bothered that she is so young yet is wearing tight leather. She looked good though. Reminds me a bit of Pink. The judges “didn’t like the song, but liked it.” (Re-watch, that’s essentially what they said.) Simon was right on the money….brilliant performance.

-Adam Lambert, back in the suit, trying to counteract any effect the cross-dressing pics might have on his image. Who cares dude? Elton John cross-dressed, so did Bowie and Jagger. Lambert has this thing locked up and is in an entirely different league than everyone else. It’s almost not fair. I don’t even remember what he sang, I just remember being mesmerized. P.S. His primal screams occasionally freak me out.

-Matt Giraud must have been obligated to sing “Stayin’ Alive” this week, right? The song was OK, not great. I am still amazed the judges used their save on someone even they are metze-metze on.

-Anoop, your beard really brought out your huge eyebrows (which I didn’t notice until this week). Oh, and Don Johnson called, he needs his suit back for a Miami Vice re-shoot. Shouldn’t a song called “Dance the Night Away” make me want to dance? I was not moved.

Lil and Anoop are gone this week. Nice to know ya. Hope you enjoyed the guest blog….comments are welcome, what did you think of the singers this week? Did you notice Motley Crue’s Vince Neil in the audience?

Adam Again

April 21, 2009

This one comes courtesy of Andrew Gelles courtesy of Perez Hilton. Enjoy.