Ike Turner is Pissed

lilI’ve been saving this post for a while, and thought that last week was going to be the week to use it.  However, the judges screwed that one up.  Fortunately for me, a little patience paid off, and my plan is going exactly to…well…plan.  It was only a matter of time.  So, like Shakespeare or Homer or John Grisham, what was written long long ago, still, somehow, is relevant today.  And don’t think for a second that I won’t bust this post back out again this year if the situation calls for it.

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Originally Posted 4/2/2008

Every year it’s the same thing. Every year! One contestant decides “Hey, I’m hot shit, I’m going to sing that Whitney Tina Turner song that everyone knows only as ‘That Whitney Tina Turner Song'” And guess what? It never works. Ever. I was sitting on the couch with Elyssa watching the show tonight, and along comes Syesha Lil, singing to Dolly America, dreaming of being Whitney Tina Turner. I tell Elyssa that guaranteed, one, if not all, of the judges are going to tell her she shouldn’t have tried to sing a Whitney Tina Turner song. Let’s take a look at the responses…

Randy: “Alright yo, check it out yo. You took on the biggest tiger of the night…it’s still hard for me to hear anybody else sing that song.” “Anyway anyway anyway I mean listen listen…you can do a lot of stuff…but Tina is not you”

Paula: “That color looks great on you.” “You look very very hot tonight”

Simon: “This is one of the best pop songs ever written, and I almost wish you hadn’t got it in a strange way. The first part was ok, the second part paled in comparison to the Whitney version.” “We are not looking for a second or third rate version of Tina Turner, because that’s what it was”

Kara: “You’re struggling right now.”

I think I’ve made my point. Good day.

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