Archive for March, 2009

Prediction / Thoughts

March 31, 2009

bugs-bunny-foreverFor a brief moment during the show, I thought this blog was just about going to write itself.  I could barely contain my excitement.  Unfortunately, the judges Bugs Bunnied my ass, so then I had to sit here and think of something else to blog about.  So, I figured I’d share a few thoughts and then make my predictions for tomorrow night.

First, I have no idea who got voted off last week.  That usually means they should have been gone long ago.  Second, Simon never claps.  He clapped for Danny Gokey.  That has to mean something, right?  Third, as much as I don’t value what Kara says, she is a real treat to look at.  Next to that crack whore Paula, it’s like putting Giselle next to Bridget Moynihan.  Just a different league.  Fourth, I think when the judges watch back the show, they’ll realize that Allison’s dress didn’t have as much impact as they thought.  Fifth, I don’t get why Matt was practically in the audience being swarmed by teenie boppers.  Finally, there’s such a clejackbauerar line between the top and bottom of the remaining contestants, they may as well just vote like 5 people off tomorrow night, make the show only another 4 weeks, and change “24” to like “36”, and see if Jack Bauer can make an additional 12 hours without taking a shit.

Prediction for 4/1*

Bottom 3 – Adam, Danny, Kris

Voted off  – Adam


Look At That Hat

March 31, 2009

Now, generally speaking, I only use this blog to promote myself and my awesomeness.  I find that since my name is on the top of the page, I get to toot my own horn as much as I desire.  HOWEVER, over the years I’ve reaped the benefits of a booming hat industry that just happened to be located on Yawkey Way, right next to Fenway.  So, in a little shout out to Twins Enterprises, I present you two of our very own Idol Poolers, Gelles and Mike Lundin, who have been featured on


The Holy Shit I Can’t Believe How Sweaty Ruben Got Week 3 Results Post

March 26, 2009

That wasn’t the only title I came up with for this post, but it just barely edged out “The Holy Shit I Can’t Believe How Bad Smokey Wants to Bang That White Chick Week 3 Results Post”  and  “The Holy Shit Stevie Wonder Is Blind and Plays the Piano and Harmonica Like a Mother Fucker and I Can’t Do Shit Week 3 Results Post.”  Barely.  Just Barely.  Anyway…

Not much to say about this show.  Again, America proved that it’s a bunch of idiots and put Matt in the Bottom 3.  And CLEARLY Scott was better than Megan.  She’s OK looking, but just not that good.  What’s wrong with everyone?

No shock with the outcome.  Michael’s no good.  Pretty much everyone in the pool had it right.  Here are the results.  Only 1 noteable move in the pool.  Stephen Greenstein dropped 46 spots.  Apparently he was hot for Michael.  Live and learn.

A couple things…

March 26, 2009

Read this: Your Questions Answered

Deadbeat list:

  1. Leslie Rivera  – who the hell are you?  Google returned over 2 million hits, so sadly, I think Leslie will be removed from the pool.  She will forever be in our hearts.
  2. Several people, who I will not mention here, narrowly missed being named on the deadbeat list.  Last minute phone calls, emails, and checks saved your asses.

After a thourough audit, coincidentally done by the same people that AIG and Lehman Brothers had been using, I am happy to announce that the pool is financially sound.  Your money is safe, having been invested in an FDIC insured shoebox under my bed.  I have 3 guard dogs watching it at all times.

Unintentional Guest Blogger / Motown Night Recap

March 25, 2009

Unfortunately I haven’t made it all the way though Idol tonight.  The Wife and I were getting our culture on and taking in a play at the BU Theatre on Huntington Ave.  “Two Men of Florence” was a real delight.

You can imagine my excitement when I came home to an email from Idol Veteran Beth Schwartz (pictured on the right here and here) who had submitted her thoughts on tonight’s show.  So, without further adieu, I present the Motown Night Recap by our resident Gyno Dr. Bethy. (I haven’t even read what Beth wrote, so if you find her more offensive than me, too bad.)

I know that I have NO right to make blog-like comments, but nonetheless here are my thoughts on tonight’s show (I needed to do something to stay awake):

1) Are they giving all the guests Paula happy pills? First that creepy country guy and now Smokey Robinson have been freakishly, over-druggedly nice to ALL the contestants
2) I think Paula is wearing her prom dress from 1984
3) Did they really need to have 2 of the exact same people (except that Matt is cooler) in the top 13?
4) Can’t exactly blame Scott, but who dressed him tonight?? Austin Powers? I hate him
5) I heart Megan, despite her bizarro performance and Fisher Price necklace
6) Maybe it’s because my mom told me last week that he reminds her of Ramin … but Anoop made me hot for the 2nd week in a row (however, I lose my buzz every time they show his uber-conservative parents)
7) Didn’t Michael learn last week that singing “off the cuff” wasn’t the best choice for him?
8 ) It’s a major dilemma over whom I hate more: Michael or Scott. I think I hate Scott more (NEVER would have made it if he wasn’t visually impaired) but think he’s going to stick around for awhile longer because of the mother/grandmother vote
8 ) I’m bored … Kara’s hair is pretty. So is her shirt. I would kiss her.
9) Smokey, that “singing the phonebook” comment about Lil is totally and utterly unique. Wherever did you come up with it?
10) Thank goodness the only black singer in the competition paid tribute to the history of Motown Week
11) Lil has just as good a voice as Melinda Doolittle, but she blissfully doesn’t make the same faces or bobbing head movements
12) I was slightly distracted by all of Lil’s dangly things
13) Was Adam dressing to try to steal some of Scott’s crowd tonight?? Alternatively, was he auditioning for Grease?? Granted, it was a total 180 from his freaky, flaming performance from last week, but I think they can see through him. Incidentally, HD is NOT an optimal way to take a good look at his face.
14) How come no one mentioned that Danny just flat out ignored Smokey’s recommendation?
15) Is 16-year-old Hispanic Allison 16 the same way that Hispanic Little Leaguers and El Duque are their stated ages??

OK, that’s all. Bedtime for me. Feel free to pass off any of my awesome comments as your own. Btw, did you know that Colon “Jack” Bauer just got engaged? He was tempted to play by the Lee-and-Elyssa school of mawwage and wait another 9 years, but then he changed his mind.

See Mom & Dad, being a jerk does pay

March 24, 2009


TV star Simon Cowell obviously hasn’t been much affected by the credit crunch; he’s installing a private tanning salon in his brand new $22 million Beverly Hills mansion (above) so he can maintain the perfect bronzed appearance, the London Daily Mail reports. The paper got an exclusive look at plans for the lavish 11,550-sq.-ft. estate, which is due to be completed next week, and they revealed a solarium off the master bedroom complete with one full-length tanning machine and a smaller “booster” facial tanner. Cowell, 49, is reportedly worth $190 million.

He bought the property for $12 million nearly two years ago but razed the original structure to build what he has called his “dream home,” the paper reports. The new modern mansion has 24-ft. tall windows in the living rooms with sweeping views over Los Angeles. Neighbors include Tom Cruise, Madonna, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne and Victoria and David Beckham. “I’ve been involved in every aspect of the design of the new place, right down to the doorknobs,” Cowell tells the paper. “I have other houses but this is my dream home.”

Cowell and his ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour, who will have her own suite at the house, visited the property last weekend in his Bugatti Veyron and he later returned in his black Bentley convertible, the paper reports. The five-bedroom mansion also features a state-of-the-art gym in the basement, a luxury spa complete with wet steam room, and an indoor lap pool in addition to the solarium. The property has a separate staff quarters containing a servants’ kitchen, and a source tells the paper Cowell will have a live-in butler and maid.

Other features of the estate include a custom-made media room with a marble bar area and plush leather seating for 20 in a private cinema. The pool cabana has a retractable roof, wet bar and changing rooms and there is a putting green at the rear of the property. Cowell s also building a $13 million vacation home in Barbados. His main UK property is an $11 million house in London‘s upscale Holland Park. He also owns a villa in Spain and a $1.5 million investment property on the Palm Jumeirah island in Dubai.

Your Questions Answered

March 20, 2009

People are always asking “Lee, do you watch anything other than American Idol?” and “Lee, how do you find time to watch anything other than American Idol?” and “Lee, how do you find the time to be so god damned handsome and still have time to blog?”  and “Lee, what other websites do you frequent?”  Well, I thought I’d take a stab at answering a couple of these questions.

First, how do I have time to watch anything other than American Idol?  The answer, quite simply, is TiVo.  If you don’t have TiVo, you don’t understand the hpye.  If you do have TiVo, you can’t imagine life without it.  I can watch an entire episode of American Idol in like 7  minutes, and that includes watching to see if Ryan plays grab-ass with any of the contestants.  If you don’t have TiVo, it’s time you get on board.  And I’m not talking about that Comcast or DirecTV knockoff bullshit.  Get the real thing.  It’s way better.  Also, I own the stock, and if you don’t buy a TiVo, there’s a chance the stock may go to zero, then I’ll have to sell my house and live in my parking spot.

Second, what other shows do I watch?  Well, here’s a run down, by night, of what I watch.

Monday – Gossip Girl, 24, CSI: Miami, Monday Night Football (if applicable)

Tuesday – TiVo backlog, 90210, American Idol, Real World (tivo’d)

Wednesday – American Idol, TiVo backlog, anything in HD

Thursday – The Office, 30 Rock, CSI, Bathtastic (as of last night – Barry, check this one out)

Friday – Nothing

Saturday – NASCAR

Sunday  – NASCAR, Football

Throw in some This Old House, New Yankee Workshop, SportsCenter, NascarNow, American Choppers, Arrested Development and a bunch of other stuff, and it’s quite a lineup.  Thanks to TiVo, watching everything takes like a total of 43 minutes.  Leaving me plenty of time to work on this crummy blog.

Alexis Grace denied TARP bailout funds

March 18, 2009

Real shame here. If she lost the pink hair and could actually sing she might have made it. Oh well. Her performance to save herself was just awful. Maybe if she had slutted it up or something tonight Simon would have saved her. Live and learn. I’m looking for a real sexy remainder of the season from Megan. I believe she’s the only hot chick left.

Results posted here.

Bird Bird Bird, Bird is the Word

March 17, 2009

simonbirdSimon apparently loves America as much as we love him

Adam = Winner = Next James Bond Theme Song

March 17, 2009


Forgone conclusion that Adam wins the whole thing.  For whatever reason I kept picturing that rendition of “Ring of Fire” as a Bond theme song.  Kind of a sexy, dark, gonna kill some people thing going on.  Despite what all the judges say, that version was sick.  They’re crazy.  For once, Randy was the only one that made sense on this one.